Guest post: Ian Oliver on dating after divorce, relationships and the holidays

Guest post by Divorce Doula

Ian Oliver’s book “Getting Back on Top: The Uncensored Guide to Sex, Dating and Relationships After Divorce”

“Ian’s book is the perfect guide to dating after divorce and covers everything from dating sites to matchmakers, texting protocol, phone sex and The Ten Commandment of Sex, Dating and Relationships (“Thou Shalt Not Fake an Orgasm. Divorce Doula: Amen).  It’s a no nonsense guide to getting your mojo back after divorce and I asked Ian to guest post for me on the matter of dating over the holidays.”

In addition to being an unofficial Divorce Doula dispensing advice and offering resources for The Afterwife, I am also a bit of a Dating Doula I have been on literally dozens (maybe hundreds? I should check my spreadsheet) of dates; some good, some great, some never again. Does that qualify me as an expert? Probably not, but I have also helped many friends write their on-line dating profiles and vet on-line suitability of suitors, poured wine before AND after first dates and watched flirtation and fascination turn into love in the second act. I think a lot of people are apprehensive about dating after divorce and understandably so. Being married and out of “the game” for several decades, many of us find dating after divorce daunting or downright terrifying. Many of us have been traumatized by divorce: feeling rejected, navigating bitter battles with the ex, a feeling of failure, a fear of being unloveable. It takes a strong sense of self to allow yourself to be vulnerable with another person and many people are unprepared or unwilling to do so after their divorce. We throw ourselves into raising our kids or our career and say “If it’s meant to be, it will happen” but I believe that dating, like marriage (and divorce, for that matter) takes work.  You have to put yourself out there if you truly want a relationship and that takes courage, honesty and good advice.

I considered writing a book on this subject but was thrilled to receive a copy of Ian Oliver’s book “Getting Back on Top: The Uncensored Guide to Sex, Dating and Relationships After Divorce” because it is similar to the type of book that I would write. Ian is a financial advisor and relationship coach, Huffington Post contributor and passionate advocate for children-related charities and causes. His book is the perfect guide to dating after divorce and covers everything from dating sites to matchmakers, texting protocol, phone sex and The Ten Commandment of Sex, Dating and Relationships (“Thou Shalt Not Fake an Orgasm.Divorce Doula: Amen).  It’s a no nonsense guide to getting your mojo back after divorce and I asked Ian to guest post for me on the matter of dating over the holidays. I hope that you enjoy Ian’s post and it helps you navigate your way through dating after divorce. Please consider buying Ian’s #1 Amazon Bestselling book as 100% of the profits will go to children’s charities such as Promises2KidsVoices for Children and the San Diego Children’s Museum. Sound advice,  solid philanthropy and he loves his mom. Ian is one of the good ones.

Dating and relationships during the holidays by Ian Oliver

Dating and relationships, especially after a divorce, are always hard but it can be even harder during the holidays. There are constant reminders, especially through media, of what a beautiful time it is to be happy and in love. Ads of happy couples and families are abundant and it tends to be a reminder of what could have been or even make you anxious of what the future holds. It can be a harder time for us singles…not to worry! In this article and in my book Getting Back On Top: The Uncensored Guide to Sex, Dating, and Relationships After Divorce, I point out the ways and give tips to make it better and to understand the reality of things.

So first of all, let’s remember that the ads and pictures out there do not represent reality. Most marriages end in divorce and for the ones that don’t, many are not as happy as those ads make them out to be. Ads do what they are meant to do and that is sell people’s dreams not realities.

Second, dating during the holidays can be fun, you just have to put yourself out there. As always, use the 4 main sources to find potential dates: friends (everyone knows a few singles), online sites like Match, E Harmony, Christian Mingle, J Date, or whatever your preference (Divorce Doula: I’m a fan of OKCupid. High geek factor & less bottom fishing than on Plenty of Fish) and also consider signing up for dating services and matchmakers. Many people are looking for exactly what you are during the holidays, but you will never find them unless you make yourself available. It’s like wanting a perfect body but never setting foot in a gym or never eating healthy. Nothing happens without a bit of effort.

Third, holidays are full of places to meet new people. Head out to a few holiday parties and fundraisers. There usually are many single people at these events and they tend to be more socially conscious and philanthropically oriented—both attractive qualities. If you have a few in one evening, spend a little time at each and evaluate the crowd!

Fourth, this is one of my biggest recommendations that people just can’t seem to grasp, and that is that if you see someone attractive at one of these parties or anywhere for that matter, go up to them and ask them out. Get into the holiday spirit and spread the cheer! A smile at a person will go a long way and tend to open doors to conversation. Don’t be shy, the holidays are perfect for starting up conversations about holiday shopping, the ambience, waiting in line, grocery shopping for holiday dinners, that funny Santa Claus in the mall, etc. There are a myriad of opportunities to strike up conversation. Don’t let one slip by. It will feel good to do it and you will be surprised by how many are interested and say yes. And if any don’t say yes, just know that as long as you were polite and genuine, they were probably flattered and you might have just made their day.

When you do land that date the holidays make it easy to have amazing dates. Take the things you like to do always hiking, a walk on the beach, hanging out at a cool coffee shop and trying their new holiday coffees or teas, and do it with the person you are dating. It will give them an idea of what you like to do.

Many people think that dating around the holidays can be a bit tricky, but it is probably easier than any other time of the year! You have an excuse to give someone a little something that shows them you care without being too forward. You have an excuse to invite someone to holiday parties with your friends (and if they seem uncomfortable can leave whenever you want rather than at a sit down dinner). You can even show them that extra bit of affection under the mistletoe. It’s the holidays!

Just be open to meeting people anywhere and everywhere, if there is someone already in your life be extra kind to that special someone; and in the process of it all appreciate your freedom, your choice and your independence. Be present and realize how lucky you are.

Read more at orignal source

It’s Complicated: 5 Tips for Using Facebook While Dating

Original Source – Huffington Post

It’s Complicated: 5 Tips for Using Facebook While Dating

So many of my clients ask what I think about Facebook and social media. I have to be honest, at my age I don’t consider myself to be a social media guru, but I do know something about good decorum. Just because we are in a digital age doesn’t mean that manners go out the door. The same etiquette that you apply to everyday life should be applied to social mediums. As a matter of fact, you might want to tread the waters even more carefully when it comes to social media and putting information and opinions on a public forum. Regardless of your “settings,” things that are put onto a medium with billions of users should be looked at with caution.

It’s estimated that over 1.3 billion people use Facebook today and half of all adult Facebook users have more than 200 friends in their network. Knowing this, it boggles my mind when I see the types of posts that people put on their status updates. I’ve seen so many people complain on their social media about their relationship drama as well as call out their significant other for doing something they didn’t agree with. Later they come back to me telling me how humiliated they felt when the relationship ended and everyone knew. My response: “You had it coming.”

I’m not saying a little banter on Facebook isn’t fun, but know when things become rude and insensitive.

Here are my top five rules for using social media while in a relationship:

1. Never put your relationship problems as a status update.

Telling all your “friends” via a “post” that your boyfriend forgot your birthday again won’t win you sympathy, but it will earn you some pity points, and no one wants to be pitiful. Social media is not the place to address hurt feelings or wrong-doings, the best and only place this should be discussed is IN PERSON. Unless you are in a long distance relationship in which case I would suggest Skype, FaceTime or a phone call. Let your significant other know that they hurt you, find a resolution and move on. Putting it on a social medium so everyone can see only makes it that much more hurtful and permanent. It becomes harder to move past an issue when everyone knows about it.

2. Stop posting selfies of the both of you kissing.

It’s just plain weird. Not many people are fans of PDA’s because no one wants to see you swap spit with another human being and honestly, the cutesy kissy pics get old too if you are constantly posting them. Your friends get it — you’re happy and want to show everyone — but why not just live in the moment and enjoy it for what it’s worth? How can you really enjoy that kiss when you were too busy trying to capture it on your phone? Don’t be so concerned that people SEE that you’re happy, be concerned about actually BEING happy and enjoying the company of who you are with. When I am on a date, I like to turn off my phone or even leave it in the car so that I am not pulled away from my special time with my special someone.

3. Stop posting so many sexy selfies.

Having a body that you’re proud of or an outfit that you confident in are great, but if you’re constantly posting pictures of yourself in a bikini and you’re not heading to the beach or in a towel in the bathroom, red flags go up. Your partner might wonder who you’re trying to impress and it also begs the question if you are in constant need of attention.

4. Don’t post pictures of wild and crazy nights out.

This may seem a bit on the overly sensitive side but hear me out. If you are in a new relationship and relationship statuses have not been changed, this might alter the great course that your relationship is headed. Ladies, if you post pictures of yourself dancing on tables or bars with “the girls” expect to be taken as the “party girl” that you are portraying yourself to be. Not many men want to be in a relationship with a party girl. Men, same goes for you. If you post pictures of a night out on the town with scantily clad women on your lap, don’t expect a call from that really nice woman that you had an incredible date with.

I get it, it’s all just a bit of fun and you were just hanging out, but you absolutely need to take the feelings of the person that you’ve been dating into consideration.

5. Facebook is not your misery diary.

This falls along the lines as the first rule but it extends far beyond relationship woes. Social media is exactly that, SOCIAL. When we are in a social setting with large groups of people we normally don’t go on rifling about how lonely we feel, how depressed we are, how we can never find love, etc. This applies to social media as well. No one likes a negative Nelly. Being negative on social media can influence how people view you — especially someone you are dating. So keep it light, fun, and social. If you wouldn’t talk about it in a room full of 300 people you happen to know then don’t post it on a social medium with the potential of 300-plus people seeing it.

My overall advice for social media is to lay off of it and enjoy the real world. Get outdoors, enjoy the day and the people around you.

Original source – Huffington Post

Vital Connect gets green light from FDA for biosensor patch

Original Source – Venture Beat

Vital Connect gets green light from FDA for biosensor patch

Connected health devices that help at-risk populations, like senior citizens and the chronically ill, make good sense. They help keep people healthy, and they ultimately save the system money.

A San Jose, Calif.-based company called Vital Connect announced today that it received FDA clearance for use of its HealthPatch MD biosensor for monitoring patients at home.

HealthPatch MD can be used for short-term monitoring of a patient who has just been released from the hospital, or as part of the follow-up care provided after a non-critical emergency room visit. The point is to allow the patient’s caregivers to keep tabs on them from afar 24 hours a day.

The biosensor is a small white plastic device that attaches to the patient’s skin. I has two components — a reusable sensor module and a disposable patch. It monitors heart rate, heart rate variability, skin temperature, body posture, fall detection, steps, and many other things.

The sensor uses Bluetooth 4.0 to connect to a relay or smartphone and the relay transfers information by Wi-Fi to the cloud and then to the caregivers. The data is encrypted to meet HIPPA privacy and security guidelines.

Continue Reading at Original Source – Venture Beat

Apple Updates Privacy Policy for Health Apps, Report Says

Original Source – Mashable referencing Financial Times

Apple Updates Privacy Policy for Health Apps, Report Says

In yet another sign that the launch of Apple’s long-rumored iWatch may be imminent, the company has reportedly updated its privacy policy for how health apps handle user data.

Apple recently changed its guidelines for developers who wants to take advantage of its HealthKit framework, according to the Financial Times.

HealthKit, which will debut alongside iOS 8, serves as a hub for health data collected by third-party fitness and health-tracking apps. That information will then be funneled into Apple’s Health App, which will analyze the data, and break it down into easily digestible formats.

The new rules state that developers can’t “sell an end-user’s health information collected through the HealthKit API to advertising platforms, data brokers or information resellers,” according to the report. What’s more, developers cannot use HealthKit’s API or its information “for any purpose other than providing health and/or fitness services.”

Continue Reading At Original Source – Mashable

Bayer HealthCare starts its own accelerator

Original source – Venture Beat

Bayer HealthCare starts its own accelerator

Bayer HealthCare (grants 4 apps) appears to be the first pharmaceutical company to have started its own accelerator. The company that made €18.924 million in turnover in 2013 “understands that innovation and healthcare cannot only be driven by the industry but also needs creativity,” said Christian Ullrich, Head of Marketing & Sales IT at Bayer HealthCare yesterday.

Bayer has partnered with universities and smaller companies before and last year started Grants4Apps, a crowdsourcing initiative. This year, it was turned into an accelerator.

Altogether it received around 70 applications. A jury of experts selected five from all over Europe to participate in the 3.5 month long program. Each startup receives €50,000 as financial support, meets mentors every other week, and get free office space at the Bayer HealthCare HQ in Berlin.

The pharmaceutical company, however, does not take more than 10% equity in return.

Compared to other healthcare accelerators, Bayer provides around twice as much financial support. Most others give $25,000 for about 6% of equity.

While you might expect the accelerator to be a small side project for a long existing company such as Bayer, that’s not the impression we got yesterday.

Before starting the pitches, Reinhard Franzen, senior vice president at Bayer HealthCare, welcomed the audience and underlined that this step in innovation is taken seriously inside the company. “150 years ago we were a startup ourself,” he states. Franzen later explains that innovation is happening, and Bayer wants to be part of it by supporting startups.

Before the five minutes pitches, each team’s mentor from Bayer introduced…

Continue Reading At Original Source – Venture Beat

Amazon meets with FDA, shows signs of entering digital health space

Original Source – Venture Beat

Amazon meets with FDA, shows signs of entering digital health space

While the details are hard to come by, it’s becoming increasingly obvious that Amazon is getting ready to make some sort of play in consumer health.

At Rock Health’s Health Innovation Summit last week, Dr. Babak Parviz, the former Google X director credited with inventing Google Glass and the glucose level-detecting smart contact lens, was coy about what Amazon is building, although several people asked him to comment. It was, however, clear by the look on his face that something is indeed being built.

Parviz talked about the use of Google Glass by doctors during an on-stage interview at the Rock Health event. Parviz moved from Google to Amazon in July to fill an unnamed position. He has said little about what he’s doing there.

At Google, Parviz was also involved in the development of a contact lens that reads blood sugar levels from the chemical content of tears. He is obviously excited about the health space.

Rumors have circulated that Amazon will jump into the industry next year, possibly with a health platform like Apple’s Health Kit.

It’s possible. Amazon added 30 million new users last year to bring its worldwide user count to more than 200 million worldwide. With that kind of reach it could sell a wide variety of health wearables, and provide a technology platform where health data collected by those devices could be stored and accessed by both consumers and app developers.

It’s also possible that Amazon is working on health wearable hardware of its own. Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has shown that he is not afraid to jump into hardware projects if he believes their goals align with those of the mega shopping site. The Fire phone is the prime example, a device that could have applications in the health space itself. (See: Amazon’s Fire Phone might be a boon for health apps)

Another clue dropped yesterday, with reports that Amazon has held at least one conversation with the Food and Drug Administration. According to the FDA’s meetings calendar, on July 22 “Amazon leadership” met with the agency’s deputy commissioner for global regulatory operations and policy Howard Sklamberg and some other FDA employees.

Continue Reading At Original Source – Venture Beat

China’s Natural Gas Demand Set to Triple by 2040

Original Source –

China’s Natural Gas Demand Set to Triple by 2040

China’s demand for natural gas will more than triple over the next 25 years, according to a new report from the U.S. Energy Information Administration.

Natural gas demand in China is projected to hit 17.5 trillion cubic feet (tcf) in 2040, a greater than three-fold increase from the 5.2 tcf of demand in 2012. There is a big question mark over how the country will meet that need, but the EIA says the vast majority of it will come from two sources: domestic production and liquefied natural gas (LNG) imports.


China is potentially sitting on 1,115 tcf of technically recoverable shale gas – the world’s largest reserves. While energy rich, China has had trouble developing its mammoth shale resources. The lack of fresh water is an enormous challenge. But so is a lack of infrastructure, dearth of pipelines, complex geology, and high costs. The problems have tempered China’s ambition, and the government recently downgraded its 2020 production target by half.

Overcoming these challenges will require the experience and technical skill of experienced players – veterans of the U.S. shale revolution. China decided to up the incentives to attract international investment. “Chinese oil companies are giving U.S. firms a bigger stake in exchange for the tools and technology of hydraulic fracturing,” according to Collin Eaton of The Houston Chronicle.

Joint ventures with American companies will allow China to access some of the tools that fueled rapid growth in the U.S. – pressure pumps, horizontal drilling, multiple wells per pad, and water-efficient equipment, for example. Halliburton and other oil services firms are taking advantage of China’s urgent need to ramp up natural gas production. Halliburton is working with STP, a Chinese company, to frack the Tarim Basin in northwest China.

The EIA predicts that China will be able to overcome many of these hurdles and produce 10.1 tcf of natural gas by 2040, or the equivalent of 58 percent of demand.

What is not met by domestic production will need to be imported. Although only a small fraction of demand at this point, China’s imports of LNG are set to skyrocket in the coming decades. Much of this will come from Australia, which will dominate LNG trade for the foreseeable future, but U.S. LNG exporters…

Continue Reading At Original Source – OilPrice-com

Ackman Files Second Lawsuit Against U.S. Government

Original Source – (Reuters) Business Insider

Ackman Files Second Lawsuit Against U.S. Government

Activist Bill Ackman’s Pershing Square Capital Management LP filed its second lawsuit in two days against the U.S. government over bailout of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac , court documents show.

In Friday’s complaint with the U.S. District Court, Pershing Square alleged that the Department of the Treasury illegally seized tens of billions of dollars in Fannie and Freddie profits.

Pershing Square, the largest shareholder of both the mortgage companies, said in the complaint that it was told the Fannie and Freddie stockholders no longer have fundamental shareholders rights.

Fannie’s and Freddie’s conservator, Federal Housing Finance Agency (FHFA), denied “written demands by Pershing Square to the companies’ boards of directors for a books and records inspection”, according to the complaint.

In the second lawsuit, Pershing suggests the mortgage companies’ dividends being paid to the Treasury should be shared among other common shareholders.

Three retirees who own Fannie Mae stock have joined as plaintiffs of the lawsuit.

In a complaint filed on Thursday with the U.S. Court of Federal Claims in Washington, D.C., Pershing accused the government of violating the Fifth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution by taking private property for public use without just compensation.

Continue Reading At Original Source – Business Insider

Cincinnati Bell and ESPN Sign Distribution Agreement for SEC Network

Original Source – Business Wire

Cincinnati Bell and ESPN Sign Distribution Agreement for SEC Network

Just in time for this season’s college football kickoff, Cincinnati Bell has added ESPN’s new SEC Network to its Fioptics lineup. Cincinnati Bell Fioptics customers will have access to the new network on Aug. 14 when it launches.

The SEC Network will broadcast 45 exclusive SEC football games this season. During its first year on-air, the collegiate network will also air 75 baseball games, 100 men’s basketball and 60 women’s basketball games.

“We are happy to enter into a new agreement with ESPN and offer the SEC Network to our Fioptics customers,” said Michael Morrison, director of video & entertainment product development. “There’s no better way to watch sports than with the razor-sharp picture quality of our Fioptics TV.”

The Southeastern Conference is a collegiate athletic conference that is home to some of the nation’s most storied athletic programs including the University of Kentucky and the University of Tennessee.

As part of a larger deal with ESPN that includes the SEC Network and all the current ESPN and Disney channels, Fioptics customers will also enjoy access to Fusion — a lifestyle channel targeted towards millennials — beginning Sept. 30. In addition, TV Everywhere apps like Watch ESPN, Watch Disney and Watch ABC, will be available to Fioptics customers before the end of 2014.

Starting Aug. 14, Cincinnati Bell customers can find the SEC Network on channels 204 (SD) and 604 (HD), with the Fioptics Elite package. Channel 205 (SD) will serve as an overflow channel for additional SEC games. Fusion will be available on channels 250 (SD) and 650 (HD) beginning Sept. 30.

About Cincinnati Bell

With headquarters in Cincinnati, Ohio, Cincinnati Bell, Inc. (NYSE: CBB) provides integrated communications solutions, including local and long distance voice, data, high-speed Internet, entertainment, and wireless services that keep residential and business customers in Greater Cincinnati and Dayton connected with each other and with the world. In addition, enterprise customers across the United States rely on Cincinnati Bell for efficient, scalable office communications systems and end-to-end IT solutions. Cincinnati Bell is the majority owner of CyrusOne (NASDAQ: CONE), which provides best-in-class data center colocation services to enterprise customers through its facilities with fully redundant power and cooling solutions that are currently located in the Midwest, Texas, Arizona, London, and Singapore. For more information, please visit

About SEC Network

The Southeastern Conference and ESPN have signed a 20-year agreement through 2034 to create and operate a multiplatform network which will launch August 14, 2014. The new network and its accompanying digital platform will air SEC content 24/7 including more than 1,000 events in its first year. The network will televise 45 SEC football games, more than 100 men’s basketball games, 60 women’s basketball games, 75 baseball games, and events from across the SEC’s 21 sports annually. Programming will also include in-depth commentary and analysis in studio shows, daily news and information original content such as SEC Storied, spring football games, and more. Hundreds of additional live events from various sports will be offered exclusively on the digital platform.

Continue Reading at Original Source – Business Wire

Senator Chuck Schumer wants the FTC to regulate data from fitness wearables

Original Source – Venture Beat

Senator Chuck Schumer wants the FTC to regulate data from fitness wearables

Written by Mark Sullivan

Senator Chuck Schumer (D-New York) issued a statement Sunday calling for federal protections against the sharing of personal data by makers of wearable fitness trackers.

Schumer wrote that he sees a potential “privacy nightmare” if companies like FitBit (and he calls that company out by name) are allowed to profit from selling user biometrics data to third party data brokers like Acxiom.

He also worries that the data could even be shared with insurers, mortgage lenders, or employers.

“Personal fitness bracelets and the data they collect on your health, sleep, and location, should be just that — personal. The fact that private health data — rich enough to identify the user’s gait — is being gathered by applications like Fitbit and can then be sold to third-parties without the user’s consent is a true privacy nightmare,” Schumer wrote.

(FitBit has already released a statement denying that it shares personal data with third parties.)


Schumer is calling for the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) to require wearables manufacturers to tell consumers if their personal information is being shared with third parties, and give them a chance to opt out.

Indeed, the FTC has been looking at the privacy around personal data collected by health apps and devices. The FTC “has openly voiced its concern about the selling of personal fitness data between companies, but has yet to take action to push application developers and other fitness monitoring companies to provide an opt-out opportunity,” Schumer says.

Continue Reading At Original Source – Venture Beat